The One Flaw

"And the thing that kills me about her is that she doesn't see that she's intelligent, sarcastic, funny, sweet... all she can think about is [the one flaw]"

The person described above is a new friend, but one that I admire immensely because she's sweet, funny, charming, cute as hell, etc.... and it shocked me to hear from her husband that she just didn't see that in herself. Her "one" flaw (we typically all have one thing that we obsess over) is so monumental to her that it negates a dozen fantastic qualities that actually mean so much more than the gravity of the flaw. Give me the quality of compassion over embarassing foot odor any day.

What got to me about the conversation is that it wasn't about me, but it could've described me. I've become so body dysmorphic and self-conscious that I no longer recognize my charms (or I feel guilty when I do like I'm claiming something that doesn't really belong to me) and I do not believe the compliments that I receive. Others might say that I'm funny, smart, friendly, warm... even pretty and I can say "but I'm fat" as if that negates everything else.

But it doesn't. I know that whatever flaw eats away at my friend absolutely doesn't make her any less shiny and - despite what my somewhat ED-raddled brain tells me - I'm not anymore" terminally special" than anyone else.

Yes, I am fat, but being fat doesn't make my any of my other qualities any less (or more) genuine.